The One Thing You Can Control

Right now it kind of feels like the world is spinning out of control. And things outside of your home and even in your home might feel like they’re extra chaotic and crazy, but even though that may be the case and even though there are a lot of things that we do not have power over, and there are a lot of things that we can’t control. 

There is still one thing that We absolutely can control, and that’s ourselves…

So we may not necessarily be able to control the situations that are going on around us, and we might not be able to control what’s going on in the world right now but we can control our attitudes. 

When my kids start getting really upset or things don’t go their way and they’re getting really frustrated  – I can look at my 6-year-old and my 4-year-old and say – but what can you control? what’s the ONE thing you can control right now? And they will say back to me, either my attitude or myself. 

If my 6-year-old and my 4-years-old can know that they might now be able to control everything that’s going on around them but that they can control their attitude and that they have the power to turn their attitude around, Then, you my friend, can certainly grasp the same concept. 

And This is what I want to help teach you guys. 

I want you to know that YOU can have that powerful mindset shift, that YOU can start taking back the joy in your motherhood. And then you can start empowering your kids to do the same thing.

So many times we just feel like we are a victim to our circumstances, 

woah is me, mom life is so hard, look at how ragged and stressed out I am – It must mean I’m such a great mom then right?!. 

um actually no, can we just pause for a hot minute and talk about this….since when did it become the norm for us to judge if we’re a good mom or not, based on how run down we are and how busy we are. Or why do we feel like we have to pride ourselves on that? I’m sorry but that has to stop too because it’s so unhealthy yet we’re praising it and we feel like that’s the standard we need to live up to. 

Anyway that’ll have to be another topic for another episode because I can’t even begin to dive into all of that right now but let’s get back to the victim mentality. 

but before I go any farther I do want to be really sensitive to this- bc I know the word victim can be a trigger for some people and when I reference this I am not talking about someone who has truly been a victim of sexual assault, or abuse or anything like that. When I say playing the victim card I’m talking about the woah is my attitude, my life is so hard, why is everything always going wrong, etc. I just wanted to clarify that. 

friends so many times we just feel like we’re victims to our circumstances. How about Instead of being a victim to our circumstances why don’t we pivot and shift and we start becoming the victors. 

I want to teach you how to claim victory because Christ did not die to set us free to have us sitting here in overwhelm, living in chaos, and not living abundantly.

The very first step to mastering your mindset is that you have to take ownership. If you can’t take ownership of your life, NOTHING will change because you will still be blaming everyone else around you for why things are the way that they are. 

You can’t make a change, you can’t move forward until you take ownership. 

I don’t know if you guys have ever read the travelers gift. If you haven’t I highly recommend it. and I’ll link information about it in the show notes. It’s one of my favorite books now and it’s one the quickest book I’ve ever finished because it was that good. 

Anyway in the book, it talks about 7 decisions that determine personal success. and the very first one is all about taking responsibility for your life and your choices. 

This was a very difficult concept and in fact, it’s really only something that I have truly grabbed hold of in the last year or two. 

I remember very specifically, this pivotal moment that I had. and it’s one of those aha moments that you just don’t ever forget because it’s so life-changing. I had invested in this personal growth & mindset training with Prestin Pugmire. We had these assignments that we needed to complete before our weekly calls. And this one week in particular I was panicking because I had printed everything out and was trying to fill out the answers to the questions, and our call was in a few hours. I was trying to make dinner, the kids were being whiney and so of course I start getting short with Phil as he came home from work. and I’m reading these questions out loud to him and he’s not really giving me any feedback. Here’s the ironic thing.. we were supposed to be answering these questions about when in our life we’ve played the victim card.  I snapped at Phil and I said – babe I can’t answer these questions because you won’t tell me when in my life I’ve played the victim. 

and he looked at me and said Megan you are doing it right now. you are playing the victim card right now. You are blaming me for not being able to finish these questions and waiting until the last minute to do it. 

and I thought oh my goodness. I realized wow I do this way more often than I ever thought. I literally had no idea that I was blaming everyone and everything around me when something wasn’t exactly right. because I always felt justified in my excuses. 

It was a real wake up moment for me to start taking responsibility and to stop blaming other people. for my decisions, or my overwhelm or my lack of self-discipline or whatever it was, but I needed to stop blaming other people. I was the queen of excuses and blaming. And it’s still something that I battle today but I’m aware of it now and so I can catch myself if I start to go down that path.

This word awareness is something that you’ll hear me talk about often. Because if you aren’t even aware that something is a problem you can’t work on it and you can’t grow because you literally don’t even know it’s an issue. Part of my goal with this podcast is to help bring awareness and help bring out into the light things that we’ve been burying. I want to Open up conversations around Topics that arent always fun to talk about, but are necessary for growth. There will be times that I will Speak hard truths in love because it’s needed. 

You guys Doing the introspective and the internal work is not easy. It can be really painful at times. But you’re not in this personal growth journey alone. We’re here to do this together and we’re here to grow together. If this spoke to you today, if you had an “aha” moment, please DM me because I want to hear all about it. 

NEW EPISODE – problems 

that is going to control whether or not you choose to have a joyful day or whether you choose to have a terrible day. 

Even on the hardest days, even on the worst days, you can still have joy, you can still claim joy over your life because of how you DECIDE to look at certain situations. 

James Wedmore – a problem is only a problem because you choose to see it that way 

something that’s difficult in your motherhood. a situation that’s arising, what is the meaning that you’ve assigned to that?? or can we flip the script and look at it as an opportunity for impact, for growth, for change, to learn something, an opportunity to be creative and to find a solution. 

We tell our kids that there is a solution for every problem – so many times we feel defeated and discouraged, and I’m not saying instantaneously you’re going to have every single angle for parenting and motherhood but if you have a more positive outlook a more positive mindset you’re going to be able to get more creative in the solutions that you need to be able to shift the situation this has nothing to do with your spouse, this has nothing to do with your kids, this has everything to do with YOU! this is about YOU.

you can change the way your family sees problems, you get to be that person, you get to change the way that your kids see themselves, you get to change the way that your entire family operates. Because of your new attitude and because of the truth and life that you’re speaking over your family and over your kids and over your spouse. you get to do that. 

In James, it talks about how There are life and death in the power of the tongue