Episode 23:  Self Care Menu  

Today we’re going to talk about self-care and I’m actually going to walk you through how to create your own self care menu. The purpose of this is to be more proactive in taking care of yourself. Part of the problem when it comes to self care is that you are too scattered and when you have some time to yourself your brain is still going a million miles an hour and then you never actually get to rest, relax and recharge because you spent the whole time thinking about what you could do for self care and then your time was over. 

And there are different levels of self care that we’re going to walk through together today. There are some things that take 1-5 minutes that you need to be able to do right on the spot in the middle of the day because things are getting crazy and you need to get grounded. Then there are other things like a weekend away with your husband or a girls’ trip that are not everyday occurrences and need extra planning. And then there are categories all in between there. It’s important to have a variety of self care options – some that are completely free, some that are quick, some that are longer, some that cost money but not a lot, and then others that are splurges. 

Now this is not true of everyone, but a lot people assume that in order for something to be self care it has to cost money and then that’s why they don’t ever do it. Honestly for the longest time, if someone said self care, my first thoughts were getting your nails done or a massage. But there are so many more options out there that you may not have even realized that are completely free. Sitting down to read a book with your favorite cup of tea is also self care. Going for a 10 minutes walk outside is also self care. And so I put together a resource with a bunch of ideas in each of these categories, it by no means covers everything but it will give you a pretty great start and hopefully trigger some ideas of things that you love to do. And then I have a blank self care menu with all the different categories that I’ll talk about today and so you can go in and fill that out and keep it as a resource to reference whenever you are trying to plan out self care. 

Before we dive into the specifics, let me ask you a question… Do you even know what things fill your tank and that you enjoy? Or are you too busy focusing on everyone and everything else around you that you’ve completely lost who you are? 

Self growth is self discovery; how in the world can you start doing more things that you enjoy if you don’t even know what those things are that you enjoy? 

I want to challenge you to have fun getting to know yourself. Be willing to try different things to see what you like and what you don’t like. You are going to have to be intentional with this. 

We are told to “Love your neighbor as yourself” – Did you hear that….AS YOURSELF! That means you need to love yourself and take care of yourself. Some of you are really great at loving others and giving of yourselves, but would you ever treat your neighbor the way you treat yourself? Would you run them ragged until they are on the brink of a breakdown because they’re so exhausted and overspent? NO the answer is no you wouldn’t. 

Our bodies are a temple and we only have one! That’s one vehicle (which includes our minds, not just our bodies) to take us through life. How are you treating it?? Are you beating it up? or Are you taking really good care of it? Are you listening to the alarms and the signals your body is giving you, or are you in overdrive thinking you can just ignore it? 

Either you take care of your body and mind now, or you will be forced to slow down later on. 

Remember we are proactive problem solvers! 

I want you to repeat after me, “Self care is not selfish” 

If you are not taking care of yourself, then you will not be able to show up as your best self to take care of the ones that you love! 

Even Jesus, the most selfless man who ever lived, took time to go away from the crowds he was serving, to be by himself. To spend time in prayer, to rest, and recharge so that he could come back and serve those around him. He did this often, it wasn’t a one-time thing. 

And listen self care doesn’t always mean being by yourself, sometimes self care means being with close friends. Even for Jesus, there were times that he went away to be with just a few of his close disciples, and other times by himself because it’s what he needed in different seasons. 

Being in tune with what you need is important. 

And here’s the other thing, if you do not schedule self care time it will not happen. It just won’t. If you aren’t intentional about it, time will just pass you by, your calendar will be all filled up and you will be drained because you’re still pouring from an empty cup. 

I am ruthless about carving out self care time. I know that things I need to do every day to recharge, I know what my “blueprint for success” looks like and how I can get back on track when things start to get out of alignment. I’ll talk more about discovering your blueprint for success in another episode, but let’s dive into our personalized self care menu!! 

You will need some quick, free self care things that are less than 5 minutes. These are things that you can do right in the middle of chaos to help ground yourself if you feel like you’re going to spiral and lose it! 

Some examples of these would be 

• Take 5 deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. I know we’ve talked about this before in some of the episodes. If you want to learn more about different deep breathing techniques a quick google search will bring up lots of resources. Try some different ones out and figure out which ones calm you down the most. 
• Hug or kiss someone you love. 
• Think about 5 things that you are grateful for! 
• Put on your favorite song, and if dancing helps you go ahead and dance like nobody’s watching. 
• Watch a funny youtube video – my husband thinks it’s hilarious to watch those compilations of Fails. I absolutely hate it but he loves it. 
• Make a cup of coffee or tea or something refreshing. whatever your favorite drink is. You might still be in the middle of chaos but now you are sipping on something you enjoy. 
• If it’s warm outside, take your shoes off so your feet are on the ground, and just take 5 minutes to let your feet feel the earth! 

I want to challenge you to come up with a list of AT LEAST 10 free things that you like to do that bring you joy and help fill your tank! 

Still in the category of Free but these require more time

• A hot Epsom salt bath. I love taking baths with the lights off and a candle lit. It is so relaxing for me 
• A nice long shower. Please hear me out on this, I do not believe that just taking showers are considered self care because that’s a basic necessity okay. But for the sake of this, I’m talking about a lingering shower, that very relaxing and you aren’t stressing about getting out so you can do all the other things on your to-do list. 
• Go for a walk outside 
• Unplug for 30 minutes – put your phone down and just be present! 
• Yoga or a work out that you love 
• Online shop – add to cart but don’t purchase 
• Going for a drive and blasting the music 
• Call a friend that you love to talk with or maybe haven’t talked with in a long time (you may need to schedule this in on your calendar if you both have kids) 
• Watching an episode of your favorite show or a movie 
• Go to bed early! 
• Sit down and read. Maybe have tea or coffee with you and just actually put your feet up and enjoy your book. This might have to wait until the kids go to bed, or maybe you trade-off with your spouse and have them watch the kids for 30 minutes. 

Side note about self care – Please please please communicate and ask for help. Now, this isn’t that case for everyone but I would venture to say that for most of you, have a spouse or significant other, or a dear friend who if you just communicated with them that you needed some help watching the kids so you could take some time for yourself that they would absolutely help you! But so many times we can be so stubborn and we think that we are the only ones who can do everything so we get frustrated and don’t communicate and then play the victim. 

Be your own advocate!!!! Fight for yourself and the things that you need. Okay, rant over! 

Activities that are not free $$ 

• Shopping at your favorite boutique or store 
• Coffee date by yourself or with a friend 
• A Session with your counselor (you guys know I am a big advocate for counseling- this may be something you need to start and schedule it in regularly- if you need recommendations on one I would be happy to get you in touch with mine. She’s amazing!) 
• Going out to eat at your favorite restaurant 
• Going out just for desert 
• Buy yourself flowers 
• Manicures and pedicures 
• A massage (maybe a couples massage) 
• Date night with your spouse. This one is a weekly non-negotiable for us
• Trying out a new restaurant 
• Trying an activity you’ve never done before ( Ex. ax throwing) 
• Dance lessons for you or couples dance lessons (this has been on my bucket list for years) 
• DIY project in your house 
• A night out of painting and wine 
• Girls night out, or moms night in. 

SPLURGE

• Overnight get away with your spouse 
• Girls trip for the weekend 
• Full Spa day 
• Higher a professional organizer

The splurges are not things that you do on a regular basis but they are really fun! 

Let me ask you a question if someone right now gave you 2 hours of guilt-free self care time how would you spend it? What would you do? Do you even know the things that you like to do or has it been go go go for so long that you’ve lost touch of the things that spark joy for you? 

What things fill your tank? 

This week I want to challenge you to actually take the time and fill out the self-care guide! And then I want you to start making it a priority to schedule in regular self-care time. Set specific dates and times so it actually happens. And if you fall into the category of not knowing what fills your tank, be committed to trying some different things and see what you like! Most importantly have fun with this! 

It might stress you out at first to come up with these lists ahead of time, that is perfectly normal, take a deep breath and keep going! I promise this will make it easier later on because you did the planning ahead of time! 

Have an amazing week – Tag me on Instagram @megan_miakovic and show me your self-care guides in your stories, and tag me when you’re doing one of the activities! I am so excited to see you be more intentional about taking time for yourself!