How to Extend Grace to Yourself this New Year

how to extend grace to yourself this new year

Happy New Year!! This episode is not going to be your typical new year crush all the goals episode. If you’re looking for that and missed the goal-setting episodes go back and listen to episode 8 + 9 because there’s great content in there and you can access my free step-by-step goal setting guide on my website extraordinarilynormal.com. 

But today I want to do something a little bit different. I want you to have this episode to reference back to on the hard days. On the days when you need someone to speak life over you because you just can’t seem to do it yourself. Let me be that person for you! We all need someone in our corner who will cheer us on, who will encourage us, and who will see the very best in us when we can’t see it ourselves. 

Maybe you’re walking into this new season and it was really hard for you to set goals because of so much uncertainty, or maybe you’re walking through a really difficult time, or maybe things aren’t that bad but your thought life is in the garbage. Those are the people I want to speak to today. And even if you’re not in a difficult season, we all can use a little extra encouragement, even when things are going great! So keep listening! 

When you feel like you can’t come up with the encouraging words to tell yourself, let me speak them over you. And save this episode for when you have a hard day, because friends half the battle is knowing you’re in a difficult place, or knowing that your mindset is spiraling downhill but choosing to plug into those resources and those things that you know are going to help you get out of that negative space. 

If you’re feeling shame, defeat, discouragement, fear, unworthiness you are operating out of your lowest energy levels. But you have the ability to move up and down the scale. 

Things like Joy, Empowerment, Love, Appreciation are at the top of the Emotional guidance scale. The quickest way to move up the scale is through gratitude and focusing on the things that bring you joy! I sound like a broken record on this one but it works!

And today I want you to feel Empowered, Loved, and Appreciated. 

Let’s be honest motherhood can sometimes be an incredibly thankless job. We’re happy to serve our family and we would do anything for our kids but they aren’t always the most grateful for what we’re doing. Especially those little babies that we’re up in the middle of the night with, they can’t quite communicate their gratitude for what you’re doing! 

So today if no one else has thanked you, I want to thank you for everything you do for your family, know that you are appreciated even if it feels like you aren’t, know that you are loved beyond measure even if no one said I love you today, know that you are the very best mom for you kids, even though you may feel ill-equipped and even though you make mistakes, but there is grace, and there is always a fresh start. His mercies are new EVERY morning! 

Friend, you are their mom for a reason, it’s not by accident, they were perfectly picked to be yours, whether you birthed them or not. 

Mama’s 

Even on the days where you do no housework, you are still a great mom! 

Even on the days where you lose your patience and yell at your kids! You are still a great mom!

Even on the days where you feel like you got nothing accomplished, you are still a great mom! 

Being a great mom is not based on your performance, it’s not based on how spotless the house is, it’s not based on the meals you cooked or didn’t cook, it’s not based on the foods your kids ate or didn’t eat, it’s not based on how much or how little tv they watched that day. 

It’s based on your love! Moms have this unconditional love for their kids, just like your love for them isn’t based on their performance, their love for you isn’t based on performance either. They love you no matter what because you are their mom! Sit with that for just a minute. Even on your worst days as a mom, your kids still love you! 

Now, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to improve our habits, because when we change our habits we change our life. And I’m all about those changes, but don’t let guilt and shame be the driving force for you in your motherhood. Because it will literally drain you. 

It might be a really weird concept for you to say nice things about yourself because we’re so used to being critical and negative of ourselves. But just think about how encouraging and uplifting you are to your kids. 

When they feel defeated we tell them they can do anything they put their mind to. Mama, YOU can do anything you put your mind to! 

When your kids have messed up you extend grace to them and encourage them to try again. Mama extend grace to yourself, and try again! 

When your kids are being critical of their body image, or feel ugly you tell them they are beautiful or handsome & perfect just the way they are. Mama, YOU are beautiful! Your body may not look the same as it once did, it’s been through lots of changes but you are beautiful my friend! I want you to stand in front of the mirror today and say OUT LOUD I am beautiful!!!! 

Mama’s next time you start to say something negative to yourself, pause for a second and think, would I say this out loud to my kids, or would I say this out loud to a friend? If the answer is no. Then don’t say it about yourself either. Think about what you would say to your child or your friend in your situation and speak those life-giving words over yourself! We need to encourage ourselves, we need to advocate for ourselves, David encouraged himself in the Lord. We have all the tools, we have all the resources at our fingertips, but will you choose them? That’s up to you! 

Mama’s you can live an extraordinarily normal life when you start to believe that you can live an extraordinarily normal life. It begins and ends between your ears. The battle is in your mind! 

So today I want you to stand in front of your mirror and say out loud! 

I am loved!

I am beautiful! 

I am an amazing mom! 

I will extend grace to myself! 

I can do anything I put my mind to! 

I am the very best mom for my children! 

Put these things on replay! Say them out loud! I am such a visual person and I need to see reminders often. So I created a beautiful download with these affirmations on them, so you can put it all over your house and be reminded. If you already subscribe to my website your affirmations should be in your inbox! So go check it out! You can put one on your bathroom mirror, you can put one on your kitchen cabinet, you can put one on your computer, wherever you are going to see them the most. And when you print this out and put it all over your house, take a picture and tag me in your stories on instagram @megan_milakovic because I want to see it! Let’s flood our social media with positivity because if you are needing these reminders chances are other moms are needing these reminders too!